The Legend of Grooselda: Twilight Pompadour
by SapphireStar n' CheetOH
Summary: Within the vast land of Grooseland, a charming farmer boy will learn his destiny. Groose, a handsome young man with the most gorgeous red hair, shall become the Hero of Ham, protect Grooseland, and save Princess Grooselda from the evil Linkondorf. This is, The Legend of Grooselda: Twilight Pompadour. WARNING, MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE! HIATUS
1. Prologue: The Hero

**The Legend of Grooselda: Twilight Pompadour**

Summary: Within the vast land of Grooseland, a charming farmer boy will learn his destiny. Groose, a handsome young man with the most gorgeous red hair, shall become the Hero of Ham, protect Grooseland, and save Princess Grooselda from the evil Linkondorf. This is, The Legend of Grooselda: Twilight Pompadour. WARNING, MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE!

Comments:

Lei- MOTHER OF GOD

Chet- … (no comment) …

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Prologue: The Hero

The handsome man with such stunning eyes looks up into the ceiling contemplating, hypothesizing. He stroked his ruby red hair. Oh, that gorgeous pompadour. He gets up, off his bed, with his head swishing sideways. I am absolutely swooned by his sexiness. Who is this mysteriously good looking gentleman? How is he this gorgeous? What is he? He my friend, is Groose, the handsomest man thou shall ever see in a lifetime.

Groose, (oh hold me, he's to handsome!) climbs down his ladder majestically. Darn he's something else, "Ah, this land needs more Groose…" He nodded his miraculous head. The sparkles flew off his radiating hair. No wonder why the villages called him "radiant". Oh Groose, you are breathtaking; The eighth wonder of the world. He popped his collar and nonchalantly walks into Cawlin village, villagers in awestruck, "Oh my Grooseland, it's Groose!" A lady with a green pompadour (of course not as spectacular as our man, Groose…) held her hands up to her face. Whenever he walked, compliments flew. Claps filled the air, "You can do it, Groose!"

"WE LOVE YOU!"

"Are you single?!"

"Oh Colin, hold me!"

"My wife and I want to marry you!" Groose just smiled and waved. Three girls' heads literally burst. Fireworks sparkled, "BOOM!"

"GROOSE! GROOSE! GROOSE!" Villagers cheered. It was a wonderful sight. And for the dashing young Groose, it was an everyday occurrence. His beau outshined the day and sun itself. He was the dashing Groose, and he knew it. And little does this prince know, that his fine incarnation will soon become a hero. A hero of utter hamminess. The reincarnation of the hero who wielded the Pompadour of Time. He is the great GROOSE!

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Lei- Mother of God… Please review if you liked this story…

Chet- …

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We work on reviews! If you like it or hate it, tell us!

More to come!


	2. Chapter 1: Farming

**The Legend of Grooselda: Twilight Pompadour**

Comments:

Lei- Still… Mother of god…

Chet- …

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Chapter one: Farming

The gallant Groose shuffles over to the goat farm, moving his arms side to side, pointing to the ladies and men, making a clicking sound with his tongue. Oh, how sexy he is… The villagers passed out from his charming allure. I think I am captivated as well… Hold me! (The narrator has fainted and is currently replaced by a substitute.) The dashing young man nodded his head and everyone was swooned, ogling this majestic beast. Yes, he is a marvel to look at.

Arriving at the goat farm, the tall farmer bowed down and kissed Groose's feet, "Master, I beg of you to herd these goats… It is your fate and destiny… Oh glorious one…"

"… Yes it is, my friend… Stand back…" As the glorious Groose walked sexily, the farmer backed away, slowly. He looked at all the goats and opened his luscious lips, "Goats!" They all looked at him and cried out "Me-eh!" And with all his might, Groose stroked his pompadour, releasing a red sonic boom. The goats were intimidated by his dashing aura and ran off into the barn. No living being can stand Groose's majestic sonic boom. Even the farmer died of cardiac arrest (who is currently being wheeled off into the graveyard) from his awesome sexy abs. His chiseled biceps… And that captivating pompadour. Oh Groose, why are you so amazing?

A call from the village could be heard, "Your Majesty! Prince Groose!" It was Ilia and Zelda, waving their hands. A small portion of Groose's mega harem, but man are they Sheilas! "Oh your beautifulness, you have done so well…"

"Oh so well…"

"Be the father of my children!"

"No! Mine!"

"No! Mine!"

"Ladies! Ladies! There will be room for everyone!" He placed his hands on their… Derriere… Showing them back to the villages. While he's at it, let me go beat up these two chicks… HEY HE'S MY MAN!

"NO HE'S MINE!"

"BACK OFF SISTER!"

"…And yes… Even the narrator is too awestruck by me, she even took the time to break the fourth wall…"

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Lei- Code of Hammurabi…My brain…

Chet- … Nope… Not commenting!


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